If you are determined to use your fears and phobias to the extent of really enjoying them so that they become ―user-friendly,‖ regularly do these exercises. Doing all of them as part of a regular routine will develop in you the ability to use fears to your advantage.
Remember, you are developing a life and character as you do these exercises — these are habit-forming. All these are geared towards giving you a new and fresh outlook in life and the world you are in. Most fears breed in stale life perspectives. These exercises will gradually give you a radical and positive look to dominate even the worst fears.
Note: The fears aimed to be dominated by utilizing these habits include the negative fears and phobias.
1) Searching Habit
Wherever you are, try to observe what people around you are doing. If you are in the office or at home, stop what you are doing occasionally, and watch the people around you. If you are in a public transport, an eatery, or a bus station, watch and observe details about people. What are they doing? What are they wearing? What are their mannerisms? What are they doing with their fingers, feet, legs, eyes, etc.? Search for truths that come out of people during their unguarded moments. Just make sure that you do this unnoticed. Don’t be obvious.
APPLICATION: This practices your awareness and presence of mind. This also trains you to know simple facts about people immediately around you. If you observe someone who often scratches his nose, ask yourself why he is doing that. Is it always itchy? Try to imagine reasons for the action. Small truths and facts about people often manifest without their awareness during unguarded moments.
If you make this observation or searching process a habit, you will develop the ability to size up persons and situations, or know the reasons behind actions. Eventually, you will find this habit amusing. This is sometimes called caricaturing. You assign people to behavioral groups in your mind according to their character types.
2) Smiling Habit
Practice smiling whatever the circumstance, even when the going gets tough. Also, softly whistle or hum happy tunes as you keep up a good mood and do your daily routine. Do this wherever you are, even in public vehicles or the comfort room.
APPLICATION: When pressures and tensions mount and troubles seem to be everywhere, or when somebody gets really mad enough to harm somebody else, smile. Smiling releases a natural relaxant on your muscles, triggering a calming effect. When muscles are relaxed, the emotions tend to calm down a bit.
Whistling or humming merry tunes add to the relaxation. If you keep up this habit, it will lessen shock when sudden terror or trouble appears. Make sure your smile is really a manifestation of your good and high spirits, and the happy tune is really felt in your heart. Enjoy your constant preparation for anything that may come up.
3) Predicting Habit
Always try to guess what people are up to, or what they are thinking. Never mind if you always miss. Try to guess what they had experienced in the past, and what they are doing or experiencing in the present. It’s like a game of hit or miss. At times, you hit it correctly; at times, you miss.
For instance, stare at acquaintances or officemates. Watch their mannerisms, idiosyncrasies, personal preferences, weaknesses, and strengths. As you do this, be aware of what thoughts or pictures enter your mind as you stare at these people. Then make some guesses about their past or present.
Let’s say, you notice that a person is irritable and inclined to complain. It seems that as you note these dominant traits in the person, the first thought that enters you is a crying child in a playground. Ask the person about his childhood days, especially his experiences with playmates.
Without actually asking, take note if playmates liked him or if he was often rejected. If his accounts coincide with the pictures you saw in your mind, then you hit the jackpot. If not, then try better next time. Just let the person tell his story and check if your mental picture is accurate. Don’t interrogate him or act like you are a clairvoyant.
APPLICATION: As you practice this with people, you will find that your mind can easily identify certain patterns in people that often lead to similar conclusions. The point is to gradually develop the skill to read people’s thoughts and actions. By practice, you would get to a high level of sharpness in discerning people through identifiable patterns.
Most people’s lives are patterned similarly. Thus, many people are predictable. They can put masks on their faces, but their lives and body actions (or gesticulations) still show some patterns that betray them. If you master this secret, you would find that influencing some people is easy.
When you discover traits and behaviors of people, then you can act towards them accordingly and tame them. You already know what tickles their weaknesses, and what triggers their annoyance.
You can then use this secret to take advantage of your fear of certain people. Your fear of strangers would become an adventure once you discover the excitement of accurately guessing their past and present, or their real personality.
The real thrill comes in influencing the persons you fear. Think of what this can do to people you imagine being muggers, attackers, murderers, and other scary personalities out to get you. You can study them and ascertain if they are indeed, what they seem to be. Practicing this habit can be an enjoyable and exciting adventure.
4) Something-New Habit
Daily, try to do something new. If you never enjoyed watching soap operas before, try to watch one today. Take off all your biases and negative presumptions, and try to watch it sincerely. If you haven’t been in a certain place — and you often hear about it from friends — visit it with a companion. If you know you are poor in drawing so that you never tried it before, try to draw now.
APPLICATION: This attitude stretches your mind’s ability to broaden its perspectives. Studies show that irrational fears are really products of a narrow mind.
Small places are easy to conquer. When you try to drive away termites from your room, it would not be such a difficult task. But when it’s a whole town full of termites we are talking about, conquest seems impossible. The same principle applies to dealing with fears. They can easily rule a narrow-minded person. But with a broad-minded one, their capacity to control you would be almost non-existent.
Now, imagine trying many new things daily. The thrill you get from that would scare the fear out of you. Fear weakens considerably once you begin to have a bright look at life and enjoy it. New things are strong spices of life. Discoveries turn on the proverbial bulb in your mind. This enables you to see things truthfully. Seeing the truth sets you free. Fears will just be around you, but they will not be able to overpower you anymore — as long as you enjoy your life.
5) Just-Do-It Habit
Eliminate procrastination out of your life. Setting for tomorrow the things that you can do today, or doing things a minute or some seconds later when you ought to do them immediately, often puts us into more troubles and deepen our slavery to fear.
Everyday, make a list or program of all the important things you have to do and accomplish for the day. Then just do them. Finish them one by one. Make sure you scratch out of the list the activities that make you idle, like watching TV, sleeping longer than usual, playing computer games, vain shopping, etc. Do include reading some chapters of a good book. Take an afternoon nap. Make sure to do the chores you frequently avoid engaging in, and do favors for loved ones and friends.
APPLICATION: Quick response is the key to any rescue mission. Even deadly illnesses can be remedied with early detection and treatment. Quick response must be preceded with careful (but not prolonged) study or thinking. Delay often worsens the situation. Furthermore, the just-do-it habit will start you on your way to a very productive life.
You will begin to enjoy a very useful life, with no time wasted, and much lesser time for negative imaginations of fears. Think of what sweetness it can add to your life when you start doing good things to your loved ones and friends.
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