11) Keep Cool Habit
Whatever the situation, stressful or otherwise, keep your cool. Train yourself to like mellow music, non-agitating TV programs, movies, and even environment. Don’t let yourself get caught being angry.
In fact, train yourself to be unemotional. When something good or exciting happens, don’t be too happy. Contain the emotion and keep it simple. Joy is experienced when you have great peace inside, and not too much ecstasy outside. Learn to use cool and positive remarks like ―No problem,‖ ―Sure,‖ ―It’s okay,‖ ―Good as done,‖ ―Don’t worry,‖ and the like.
APPLICATIONS:
1. The person you fear will be discouraged from harassing you further.
2. More problems are solved when you are calm because you are able to think clearly.
3. You avoid doing many wrong things.
4. The Bible says you look wise when you look cool.
5. Keeping cool gives you lots of confidence, both inward and outward.
6. The cool look is a tough look.
7. Keeping cool restores courage.
12) Best Policy Habit
Honesty is always the best policy. Pretensions only worsen fear. If you pretend, you just add the fear of truth into your fears.
Sit down and have an honest inventory of yourself. Get a clean sheet of paper and a pen. Divide the paper into two rows. In the first row list all your positive features — your abilities, the things you are not afraid to do and say, skills, talents, etc. In the other row, list all your negative features. Be honest. Write down your fears, things you cannot do and say, your failures, etc. Then get another clean sheet of paper. Using a pentel pen, write on it with bold letters, ―USE AND ENJOY.‖ Staple this piece of paper on top of your lists. Display on a wall in your room.
Then go around your house and properties (even try walking at the park), and look for an object that best represents your personality. You may think of a rock, which may mean ―My stubborn personality. I have stubborn fears and inferiority. It’s hard to get through me.‖ Take that rock into your room. Or, you may choose to buy a sponge, which may mean ―I’m soft, very vulnerable, and my personality is full of loopholes. I get easily scared and discouraged. I’m good for nothing except in scooping up dirt.‖ Take the sponge to your room.
In a simple ritual, transform the meaning of the object you took to represent you. If you chose the rock, for instance, verbally say and put into writing that ―I am a rock. I can break to pieces the mirror that reflects a false image of me. I will shatter into pieces the fears, doubts, and inferiority that keep me from being a winner.‖ Then display that rock and what you have written about it where you can see them everyday. With the sponge, you can say and write, ―Like this sponge, I can easily absorb positive teachings to change my life perspective and win over my negatives, especially my fears. I will clean up every mess that this false image has been giving me.‖
Whatever object you have chosen, think of positive things to say about how you would like to change for the better, and which you can relate with the object. Then daily, read the list you have posted in your room, as well as look at the object and what you have written about it.
APPLICATION: The application is obvious. This ritual will serve as a commencement exercise of a new life and will signal the start of better things to come. They will remind you of your goals. Starting with honesty as the best policy, the other traits of meekness, endurance, truthfulness, and perseverance will come in easy. The ritual is like setting up your banner or flag of conquest over new territory.
13) Lighter Side Habit
Always look at the lighter (and brighter) side of things. This mainly includes keeping your sense of humor active. Laughing at your fears is the best way of using them. Exercise your fear-dominating capabilities by sometimes watching sad, frightening, or violent TV programs or movies. Better yet, read books of the same nature.
Now, instead of reacting in accordance to the nature of the program or book, look for things to laugh at. Most people who have tried doing this have found the exercise so amusing. It is something everybody should try to do.
So, when you see in the show a serious hostage situation, laugh at the villains. Transform them in your mind as silly clowns trying to look scary. If you are watching a car chase or a manhunt, imagine that they are really trying to race each other to get to the toilet first. If it is serious drama, put off the volume and imagine them crying and arguing over a piece of candy.
You can also make fun of your fears by drawing them and making them look funny. For instance, if you fear dead bodies, draw a morgue or cemetery with the dead doing a tap dancing number or a ballet dance, or wearing bikinis. If you find zombies in movies so scary, try to imagine them (draw them in your mind) playing the part of Julie Andrews in ―The Sound of Music,‖ or something like that. You can do the same to your hotheaded boss or professor who’s after your neck. When he gets to scold you hard, you might not be able to control your giggles.
APPLICATION: When you can laugh at your fears you have truly learned the secret of enjoying them. When danger occurs in real life, think of something funny to tell yourself. If you are caught in the middle of a shootout, pray something like, ―God, I hope no bullet here is cross-eyed.‖ You can mean it, too.
This helps others who are with you in the danger zone. They can take time off from the peril to smile and relax. This loosening effect enables the mind and body to be more alert. You’ll soon notice that the more fearful your experiences are, the more fun they are.
14) Happy Holidays Habit
About three times a week, do this exercise:
1. Lie down on a couch.
2. Relax.
3. Close your eyes. Think of nothing. Breathe deeply and slowly.
4. Then one by one recall the good times of your life. Take your time. Smile if you feel like it. Even shout for joy. Keep your eyes closed.
5. After the session, get a piece of paper and write everything you recalled.
6. The next time around, think of new happy things in your life. Repeat the process.
7. Then write everything down on a paper again.
8. Make a compilation of your happy life moments and read them often. Count your blessings.
APPLICATION: You will need this armory or supply of happy moments in your times of fear. Keep them in a notebook and in your heart and mind. Review them from time to time. Then keep telling yourself how blessed you are. This will enhance your love for life. The Bible says perfect love casts out fear.
15) Good Boy/Girl Habit
From now on, be very particular about obeying rules and regulations no matter where you are. In malls, restaurants, fast foods, public markets, and even in public toilets, obey posted rules and regulations. If the rule says to fall in line, obey. If the bus driver tells you to sit, sit. If a sales clerk tells you to proceed to the next counter, do so.
Don’t litter your trash. Obey private policies of the owner when you are in another’s house or office. This will develop your law-abiding attitude.
APPLICATION: Being law-abiding will keep you out of trouble. Being out of trouble, there’s lesser chance for your fears to get triggered. This will also train you to be more careful of your actions. Wayward actions bring troubles.
If the troubles are serious, they often cause impressive fears in you. This training will keep you confident, in the sense that obedience keeps troubles away. As you become more disciplined, polite, and law-abiding, you will enjoy a more orderly life.
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